Jealous Thoughts  (continued)

Edward explains: "Men in traditional societies revere and fear women - fear that close bonding will threaten their autonomy and their individualism, and revere for the qualities of nurturing most women have."

For these men a woman is to be guarded, subjugated and ultimately denigrated. In biblical times a woman suspected in infidelity faced being stoned to death. One North American tribe of Indians would chop off the end of a woman's nose if she were unfaithful.

There are not historical precedents for such punishment of unfaithful men. A man would be shamed, a cuckold to be pitied. A woman betrayed received little or no sympathy.

Despite the cultural and biological differences at the core of jealousy, the results re equally destructive. Some people are constantly envious and jealous. Their view of the work is negative, suspicious and false. Relationships are tainted and life is unhappy.

"If jealousy is pervasive, it's just the tip of an emotional iceberg, and these people should seek therapy," Edward states.

For most of us, just talking to someone we trust or spending time alone is the best way to deal with "the green eyed monster."

Melanie MIller is an actress who has recently completed a run at the Western Canada Theatre in Kamloops. "To create jealousy in a character, I recall something which made me jealous, then allow the character to mould the jealousy into something unique and individual."

"After a performance where I played a very jealous woman, I would feel exhilarated. It was like a purge."

Edward agrees. "Play acting is probably a great way to get it out of your system."

Avoiding jealousy can be as easy as keeping in touch with your feelings, and being honest and open from the beginning in a relationship. Self esteem can be built and rebuilt.

Meanwhile, at that cocktail party, before you toss your martini into your mate's face, try going outside for a bit of fresh air. Jealousy can be burnt away with trust in your loved one and yourself.